Breaking My Silence

It’s been 3 weeks since Caleb was delivered by Emergency C Section & it’s been a hectic few weeks. I’m not sure what day of the week it is & days seem to fly by.

The first week was difficult due to the pain & I found it hard to process what had happened. Mentally & emotionally I was going through it all in my head, the induction process, 16 hours of labour & finally the emergency C Section.

The induction process sparked a Fibromyalgia flare causing additional pain which I struggled with. I felt like a failure during the process as my body failed me & continued to do so during labour.

People often describe that perfect moment of meeting their Baby & describe it as being the best day of their lives. I never felt this & I was plagued with guilt after having Caleb.

I lay there in the operating theatre feeling helpless & watched my Husband hold our son for the first time. I was so proud of him lying there in his Daddy’s arms but I was very aware that I was lying on an operating table & I felt somewhat disconnected from the situation.

I’m feeling more settled & in touch with how I’m feeling. I opened up to my husband about my struggles & together we worked through it. I am blessed with a beautiful boy & I am filled with pride & love for our family of three.

I’ve also been sharing my journey on Twitter & I’m thankful for the love & support people have shown me on there. It’s good to know I’m not alone.

Caleb Joseph, 22/05/18 💙.

8 thoughts on “Breaking My Silence”

  1. I’m so sorry you had such a tough birthing experience! My mum had to have a C section too due to complications with her endometriosis. She always says she was so out of it at the time she can hardly remember the first few hours after I was born! So happy that the three of you are settling well and the two of you are healthy now! x

    Sophie
    http://www.glowsteady.co.uk

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Don’t feel like a failure! You’re such a trooper for not giving up and having the strength to complete the labor. I’m so happy that Caleb Joseph came out healthy and lovely. Sending blessings to you and your family ♥

    Nancy ♥ exquisitely.me

    Liked by 1 person

  3. He is gorgeous and you are amazing!! He’s very lucky to have you two as his parents. I’m sorry to hear it was a difficult experience but I’m sure the future is bright, lovely. Well done for getting through it. ❤️ x

    Liked by 1 person

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