Things people say to you when you’re Pregnant with a Chronic Illness

People love to give advice & impart their wisdom as soon as they know that you are pregnant. Even when you don’t ask for their advice, they give it anyway & the same goes for their opinion. It’s not just your family or friends hitting you with their fountain of knowledge but strangers also like to pipe in & get their voice heard.

There’s been some strong opinions on my Vegan/Vegetarian lifestyle & suddenly people are concerned about my protein in take & the lack of meat in my diet. Will that not affect the babies bones? Will the baby grow OK without meat? Just some of the opinions that have been shared with me on the matter of diet.

The most challenging views are from people who think that having a chronic illness means that I have lost the right to have a baby. Some of the following views were expressed at Chronic Pain group, needless to say I never returned after that session.

 

1- How have you managed your pregnancy when your in constant pain?

2- How will you manage when the Baby is here?

3- If you’re struggling just now with fatigue, just wait until the baby is here!

4- What if your Baby has the same health conditions as you? Do you really want that for your child?

Firstly, having a chronic illness I’m aware of what I can & can’t manage & I have great support from my Husband. I can’t look into the future, so I’ll have to wait until the baby is here until I know how I’ll manage. Fatigue is a big part of my Fibromyalgia & Arthritis so I’m well aware of the impact it has on me & the things I need to do to manage. And last but not least, of course every Mother wants their baby to be healthy & we don’t know if our Little One will have any conditions, let alone any of my conditions.

I never blamed my own parents for my diagnosis of Arthritis & Fibromyalgia & never been hung up on “why me”. I’m a stronger person for living with a chronic illness, I’m proud that I’ve overcame barriers & I hope to bring my own child up as strong & resilient, regardless of their health.

People just love to share their opinion. I’m glad I’m not easily offended.

19 thoughts on “Things people say to you when you’re Pregnant with a Chronic Illness

  1. Meh. Why can’t people just be happy for you instead of asking questions. I’m glad you take it like a champ – I’d probably be cussing people out if I heard the same questions over and over. Anyways, wishing you the best with your pregnancy!

    cabin twenty-four

    Liked by 1 person

  2. People are annoying aren’t they? I had an easy pregnancy and people were constantly telling me to ‘just wait’ until some point where I would feel terrible (Never happened). Then I had a ridiculously easy baby (didn’t have a sleepless night til teething and then it wasn’t bad!) and people would constantly say ‘just wait’… and tell me about some terrible thing that was about to happen.
    Finally I learned to say “I’m living in the moment and enjoying it. If things get hard, I’ll appreciate that I banked these golden times!” and change the subject. In my head I wasn’t so kind!
    Wishing you a smooth rest of pregnancy and an easy peasy baby!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s almost like people take joy out of telling you the bad bits instead of saying Hope it goes well or it’s worth it when baby is here. At the start I would respond but now I just smile & let the comments go over my head. It’s so nice to hear that you had a happy pregnancy & baby & that’s good advice. I’ll certainly be taken that on board. Thank you x

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Fibromyalgia and arthritis are no fun. I also had both raising my kids. They are adults now and we all survived! I admire how open you are about chronic illness. It was difficult for me to communicate how I was feeling when I was younger. With your great attitude and support, being a mom will be wonderful!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was very closed off at the start of my journey but talking about it helps & it also raises awareness. It’s good to know you brought your kids up & survived. It can be done & sure it’ll be tough but well worth it. Thank you for your comment xx

      Like

  4. When I was pregnant everyone decided that was the time to shared their pregnancy horror stories. It was horrible!

    I battle a chronic illness that has me currently house bound. I know all about unsolicited advice and opinions.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! So many folk share the horror stories and I find it so nice when someone tells me a positive story. It seems to come part of the chronic illness where people try and give advice and start sentences with “have you tried…”. We have tried everything is the reality.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh gosh PEOPLE and their ADVICE. I think we’ve all had this, in some form or another. I’ve had it plenty with my anxiety. I’m sorry you’ve had to hear all this rubbish! It is laughable that people think they know what’s best for absolutely everyone.

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