“Do you want to have a baby?”
You’d be forgiven for thinking the question was asked by my husband. It’s not the first time I’ve been asked the question by a stranger, friends or family. Nothing can prepare you for the rush of emotions you experience as you hear it and the sharp chest pain as you try and think of a short answer to this apparently simple question.
It may seem like a normal question to be asked; I’m 28, married with a career so kids come next, right? Of course, the dream is to have a baby but people don’t understand the impact that question can have on someone.
What people don’t see is the panic and the pain I experience when the question is asked. The rushing of thoughts in my head as I try to say “Yes, of course I do” for the next question to be “So, why don’t you have any children then?”.
Do I tell them the edited version of my journey? Yes, my Husband and I would love to have children and we are attending an infertility clinic to help us achieve this. The lump in my throat suggests I wouldn’t be able to get that sentence out.
Think before you ask the question. Don’t assume that because of age or relationship status that asking the question is any more acceptable. It’s an intrusive question and I fully understand that you don’t know the back story before asking but I would kindly ask people to think before they ask.
I am always open about our fertility journey and even my husband has experienced the same question and felt uncomfortable at answering. I am open to anyone that is genuinely asking and I hope by sharing my story other women in my position can relate and know that they are not alone.