In early August I went on a weekend away to Liverpool with 16 other girls for my friend’s Hen Do. Despite feeling excited and looking forward to it, my anxiety reared its ugly head.
The run up to it was tense and my anxiety manifested itself as sleepless nights, overthinking, over doing things, avoidance, isolation and panic attacks. I went over the “What if” scenarios which as you know, can be intrusive and disturbing. There was never an option of not going and I wasn’t letting anxiety stop me.
I survived it. And not only that, I enjoyed it. I would love to tell you that as soon as we arrived that my anxiety disappeared but it didn’t. Getting on the bus to go was my way of saying to my anxiety, this is it, I’ve won.
Anxiety reared its ugly head a few times that weekend and over the two days I only had 4-hours sleep. I had heart palpitations as I lay in bed, I felt sick and dizzy, lost my appetite and the scenarios came creeping into my head. The night club was busy and constant and the sheer volume of people was overwhelming but I muddled through it.
I taught myself that weekend that I can do it. I can manage my anxiety even at its worst. I know that on the face of it, it sounds like I didn’t manage my anxiety and all my symptoms were active while I was away. However, by going, I managed it and I won. I showed Anxiety that I can put myself into new and challenging situations and I can cope. I can laugh, joke, be happy and anxiety can still be lurking in the background but it didn’t stop me. I will take this small victory because in the past I would have avoided the situation entirely and would have missed out on a great weekend.
Anxiety 0 VS Leann 1.